How to Deal with Crazy Sports Parents

As a sports parent, you know the amazing joy and pride you feel watching your son or daughter
develop athletic skills and compete. You’re there to cheer for the wins and offer support for the
losses. You know the lifelong benefits of learning teamwork and how much hard work and
dedication your child shows.

So when you’re at a game and a parent from an opposing team starts taunting your son or
daughter it’s very frustrating. They’re all kids, afterall, and youth sports is completely different
from professional sports - kids need to focus on self development and simply having fun. When
another parent gets out of hand and takes things so seriously to the point of being rude, how
should you react? Do you confront the parent? Or sit there silently feeling annoyed?

Why Sports Parents Get Crazy
Before taking action, it’s important to understand why a parent might have such an overblown
response to a game. Trying to see life from their perspective (and understanding motives) will
help keep your own anger in check.

Fear
Nobody likes to lose, but some people see losing as affecting self-worth. An outspoken parent
that resorts to heckling opposing teams maybe be trying to cope with the fear of their own child
losing. The parent may worry that a loss will crush their child’s spirit and is trying to
overcompensate by creating a world where the child always wins (or is always the best).
Unfortunately, none of us can win all the time. Helping your child learn to cope with failure is an
important life skill.

Ego
We all have regrets about our youth. A crazy sports parent might be trying to live vicariously
through their child. Having a child that is a star athlete feeds the ego of this type of parent,
causing them to boast and brag and generally be a nuisance to other in the crowd.

Greed
Some parents dream of their kids becoming pro athletes, getting scholarships to pay for college,
and riding the gravy train to fame and fortune (even if the child wants a different career). They
may push their child harder to succeed in pursuit of their financial fantasies. Some kids will grow
up to be professional athletes, but it should never be at the expense of other kids who are
looking to have fun and make friends.

Competitiveness
Finally, some parents are just competitive. They may have none of the above issues, yet will
become obnoxious at games. This type of parent may have grown up in a household where
winning was emphasized and wants the same for their child, even to the point of pushing other
parents away.

What to Do When You Meet a Crazy Sports Parent
Now that you understand some of the underlying issues, let’s talk about how to handle the
situation. There are several different approaches you can use based on what’s going on and
what you feel comfortable with.

Don’t Engage
When another parent is heckling or making rude remarks, whether loudly or just enough for a
handful of others to hear, it’s best not to engage the person. You may feel like yelling at them to
calm down and take a seat, but this approach has a high chance of creating an even larger
disturbance. You may end up in a yelling fight, which would further distract the kids who are
trying to play a game (as well as embarrassing your own child!).
Instead, try removing yourself from the area. Switch stands or move to the grass to distance
yourself.

Ask Someone with Authority to Intervene
Look for an official or police officer who can help confront the crazy parent. He or she is trained
to handle those situations. The parent will also be more likely to calm down when confronted by
authority.

Avoid Criticism
A great way to discourage obnoxious parents is to lead by example. Avoid criticizing kids (yours
and others) as well as referees and coaches. Sure, we all have times where we disagree with
something, but by creating an environment where it’s not okay to heckle and yell at people
means crazy parents will feel more embarrassed about outbursts.
Strive to create an environment of respect for everyone involved in the game. Showing your
child the importance of respect will also help them grow up to be strong, compassionate adults.

Avoid Cliques
After games, some parents will form groups and talk. Sometimes, these groups are friendly and
positive. Other times, they can be toxic and a way for parents to start picking on kids and
criticizing others. If you find yourself approached by parents who are known to be more
“gossipy,” you can politely decline invitations to chat. This will help you avoid unnecessary
drama during future games.

Promote Your Clan
If all of the above still isn’t discouraging the crazy sports parents around you, your last option is
to simply ignore them and focus on your own feelings of excitement for the game and pride for
your child. Invite more members of your family to attend games (there’s always strength in
numbers) and you can even order matching shirts to promote your clan. Your child will feel a
wonderful sense of family when he or she looks to the bleachers and sees everyone proudly
wearing matching t-shirts.

Go ahead and cheer your own child on loudly (without putting down other kids) and focus on
why you’re really there: to create positive memories.